Whateva!

If, at some time in my life I loved you, I still do. If there was an opportunity for me to care, I'm still grateful that I could. Whatever you're wondering, the answer is yes. It's always yes. If it was real or beautiful or meaningful- it always will be. You can't ever change that. Why would you want to?

And just because I still love you, it doesn't mean that I want you, or that someone else should be threatened by this emotion. Au contraire! I think that one of the things that I've learned to be the most grateful for, is that my love doesn't die. There was never a darker time for me, than when I thought that I had forsaken love. I blamed myself for way too much and wasted so much precious time thinking that I had failed. Yeah, love morphs when heated by the fires of reality, practicality and individuality, but it was, is and always will be... MY LOVE.

François-Marie Arouet (Voltaire) told us that we can not want that which we do not know. You have taught me so much. My heart and mind have been opened by both the joy and the pain that loving and losing you have afforded me. Some of these "things" are consuming concepts and some are simply refining edges which allow me more comprehensive definitions.

Thank you for helping me to learn to deal with disappointment, abandonment, anger, devastation and jealousy. Because of you I can now be disappointed and hurt and still wish the best for another, even when it doesn't include me. Thank you.

And don't think for a minute that just because you're not thinking about me, that I'm not remembering you. My heart never forgets. Never. I send you light, daily.

And for you who I dream about yet have not yet met, I love you and send you light every time I love, live and breathe. I honor your presence daily and look forward to seeing your face... any time now.

Whateva...