Reaching out beyond the dream of what you thought was real, spinning on this ball of life, head now under heel. Ready to die, to live this life so raw, alive on ledge- dancing, hurling, freeing your soul to finally stretch the edge.

Thursday, February 28, 2013


We've all been there at one time or another, I believe. Where the friend you thought you'd always have is gone. Leaving you so alone with no one to tell your secrets to, except yourself. They sound extra silly, echoing off of the loneliness of just you.

You never really echoed back but I always loved that you were there-something to absorb my sounds. I always thought you cared. But now that it all goes bouncing around aimlessly, I can't be sure of anything, other than that I did care. Care has no weight or measure. You will never see what I saw unless we both play the game.

I broke the sweetest heart tonight
'twas one that I thought was gone forever
I melted all over the place
...his face as I fizzled in my own tears
til his warm heart and
long strong arms reached out
to touch me, to hold me, to be with me
and his true soul became the grace that held me

no longer my babe,
now the man
of strength and steel
the man who cared more
for another than for his own self
the man who heard me cry and felt my pain
He chipped off the old block and became
something more beautiful...something so much better

So proud of you, son!

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Come on, now touch me, baby...

Light does not fade
Steam does not cool
as quickly as it spreads
its heat across the planes
of eternity,
filling space with its warmth

too much space between the
fiery little missiles that spill
much like all of the space
between the light that reaches
across time, across space
reaching, eventually, you

imagine, for a minute,
if there was infinite
infinite love, infinite warmth
and understanding
how much brighter, warmer and more loving
life would be

as WE fill the spaces between, call it life... with our light and our love

...just say'n....

Saturday, February 23, 2013

the wrong hope

The things that make, break and mold us are those that we cannot control, such as love, light, darkness, fear, courage, strength, and maybe hope. We can't change anything about anyone else and only those things in ourselves that we desire to. One by one the fascia fall away when we learn to let go and let good take control. That's the good in all, not just in me. There is no good in me if I see the absence of good in another. We are all just waiting to be love, and yes, just walking each other home.

What real joy is there in a rainbow, beyond perception's harvest?
Can't touch or feel it, can't make it into anything other than the feeling
it conjures in your heart and mind.
We can remember these sights, but why would we?

Because they offer an inlet-a calmer bay where the ocean's roar
cannot coax us from our silence?
Because beautiful dreams are more hopeful than
the tangible ugliness of dirty hands and broken hearts?

Before the sun burned through the clouds,
when I could not see the dark hills hiding in
the swells of the midnight storm...
I danced in the rain where none could see me

Hold my hands together, bathed in the dawning light
just above my heart where I can swoosh the dark away
and not see the demons I had twirled with
in this luminous, iridescent new awaking dream

Shine...the world awaits your beauty

Friday, February 15, 2013


We were there when the light waned
leaving us in a dark quandary
paralyzed, incapable of remembering
what we came here for

There was the time
that sweet, fruitful time filled with laughter
when you showed me your heart, shared your soul
but now you just leave me hanging in the dark

wondering, wandering...what is this "we?"
the sun sank so quickly tonight
racing stripes of pink heartbreak trickling
across the gray, unsettled sky
I watched the light fade

Night crept in as the sun slipped away
I saw you there, telling jokes about
the way
we were and how you never hoped we'd be
in your broken heart

but the sun faded anyway,
in spite of the hands you kept on playing
and its light did not fail to spray
across the heavens and in the dark
shone the moon, the mirror of our ways

Light does not fade
although sometimes I feel it slip away
through my fingers
but it always shines on the face of the man
the one that knows, always knows the love

...the man on the moon

Thursday, February 14, 2013

24 / 7

Don't think for a minute, please
that my silence means anything other
than love and light that fills every
millisecond with love for you

No, not an hour passes where
I don't send you the light of love
in my heart
Not a week is weakened by forgetting

Your name is the call of my heart
even when I can't remember your name
I am with you always and no,
I will never forget

Although I wonder if you think I do
I just let go because you told me to
Love doesn't die, but sometimes it seems to hide
but it doesn't, it's just filling the space inside

of time

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Just a spoonful of sugar... helps

Swallow it- that smooth little pill which battles
the disease that cloud the gut
To arm you with the strength of truth and light,
holding our sickness at bay
Weren't you the one who didn't let me
swallow the tantalizing poison?
Weren't you the one who let me taste the raw blood
of your beautiful soul?
With all of the thorns of truth and ugliness,
naked in its own?
...disarming the thief in me
who would have taken your will to be better?

I always thought that I was here to help you, but it was you who helped me. I'm sorry that it took me so long to see you. Thank you for walking me home, Honey.

Heavenly (Monkey see, monkey do)

Close your eyes and open your heart
Cover your ears and listen with your enlivened soul
Bind your feet and fly with me through the stars
Lay down your flesh and live forever in the depth
                         of love

Maybe you shouldn't throw away the polluted notion of god just yet. Maybe god is just the collective force of beauty that rises up from all of the love that we create-in our words, movements, songs, strokes, flips, curls, struts, bounces, and certainly our lovings.

So if we are just stardust brought to life by a random series of events, we are not unlike those magical packets of sea monkeys that I used to save up and order from the comic books, as a child. I would stare endlessly at the fishbowl for hours and days, waiting for the magic of life to occur. Sometimes, for some things, I'm afraid I still wait, lingering in the longing. OMG...

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Hit me with your best shot...

Being with sadness isn't all that bad. It's a better place to be, than running from it. Unfortunately it has left me a bit scattered and for a girl who aims to always be sharper than the tack, a bit disoriented. A bit of a relief, as well, if I allow myself to be honest.

In the midst of this fog I took one wrong step. Just one-and down I went. I don't remember the fall and maybe it was because I didn't fight it-I just let go. Or maybe it was because I whacked my head so hard on the way down and falling through a black hole leaves no accounting of what happened. My whole body is reeling from the pain now and I ask-how could every limb have sustained the brunt of the fall? How is it that my whole self hurts?

Being in pain isn't all that bad. This will pass, the fuzziness will fade, the sprains will heal and the bruises will disappear. While I wait I will just be with it. Gotta stay still til my head gets better, so this is a great time to be silent and just listen. A lot of what I'm hearing doesn't make sense. But that's the people talking to me, asking if I'm okay or what day I think it is. I am okay. This is today, the day that I cannot run from my hurting heart. There's nothing wrong with being with pain. It's an honest place to be.