Reaching out beyond the dream of what you thought was real, spinning on this ball of life, head now under heel. Ready to die, to live this life so raw, alive on ledge- dancing, hurling, freeing your soul to finally stretch the edge.

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

up on a tight rope

Can we diminish the polarities
between right and wrong
and float freely between
you and me
she and he
earth and sky?
Be well in the center
between black and white
pain and laughter
heaven and earth
dark and light...

We're not so different, after and me, him and her, them and us.

We are not our fears, predispositions, excuses, thoughts, hatreds, desires, habits or memories; we are love-each one of us. Isn't it our fear of being "wrong" or hurt or different that tells us the lie that we are in any way separate from another? We all have our seasons of darkness and light and we have all burned or felt like we were flying. We all laugh, love, cry and hurt. We are all wonderful, important, relevant children of someone.

So, come naked, vulnerable, ready and alive- just come with your heart.  We'll talk and laugh for hours!

Monday, February 24, 2014


In a delirious dream state some time ago, I still remember the way that my head and heart swirled when I let go and became one with the incredible moment pictured below. It was actually a series of incredible moments as the scene progressed and grew more beautiful with the intensifying light. A few days later the poem came. They seemed to be made for each other. I am grateful and humbled that life, itself, chose to share this with me.

(This is where I go when I seem to be gone...)

Saturday, February 22, 2014

Can you take the wheel?

Hold my heart tonight
keep it safe from all the sounds
of loneliness and fear
and of things I dare not dream
to lose

Hold me close tonight
be the soothing balm that
heals me be the easy slip that
frees me...
from me
Hold my heart tonight
reach your strong hand out toward mine
sit beside me in the dimming light
be my brightness, be my guide
(you always will be)

Please, won't you hold my heart tonight
hold me close through all the darkness
while I need the light and kindness
beating through your heart to mine
...hold my heart

Circling the crystal grid

Take me to your secret place
where dreams are made of candied lace
where the sun sets a million times
in the rippled, rushing stream
when we circle the grid of magic dreams

Sing me your war song
whether I think you're right or wrong
so that I can be with you
in the sounds of your heart beating
in that space that heaves between our fleshy meeting

Let's circle the grid to the edge of danger,
where we'll dance with the demons and cry with the angels
Can you crucify then send me home
where the stones are all torrents of love and light
It's what we are... never wrong, never right

Just turn the light on and you will see...

Monday, February 17, 2014

Indelible dream

   Dream drops falling
between rays of splintered light
where there is no room for fear-
only love and warmth and kindness
   Darkness steps aside
as there is no room for madness
midst the vibrations of the
angels' wings, their ethereal flutters prancing
   Time cannot be counted
when the rhythmic coursing beats
in to the the dance of timeless age
frenzied by the dreams we choose to heed
   Lost in time and lost in this space
holding firm in this enticing place
heart beating quickly as if in a race
to save my soul, my life, my face
    From losing once again while
I run through dream drops falling 'round me
gently tapping out eternity's song in
the key of dreams which dare not sleep

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Staying grace

Prowling the hills
solitary we hunt
for sustenance
we scour the earth

Finding the kill
that pertinent fill
but rooting for pain
we’re just hungry again

Rip it to shreds
mouth dripping with blood
Come up for air, for
we have nothing to fear

Can you survive the stream
Of the blood that flows
Can you rip it to shreds
Will you break bread with me

Will you wear the warm pelt
as we worship the sun
And peacefully slumber
once the feasting is done

Can the warmth of our flesh
thaw the raw of our souls
Can the depth of our truths
quench us, hungry carnivores

As they lay in the dirt
our hearts beating aloud
The pokes and laughter rise from
the finger pointing crowd

Can you swim up the stream
Of the blood that flows?
Can you rip it to shreds?
Won't you break bread with me?

It's a new day. It always is. There is always the opportunity to forget, move on, go back, do it again, do it better, be with it, forgive yourself, forgive someone else, make things right, make them better. Die as many times as you need to. Resurrection, reincarnation, salvation and the likes are our choices in every awake and aware minute. Stop starving yourself. Feast! 

Saturday, February 15, 2014


A shot of rosewood's mist
twisting and turning within
the swirling moisture that
holds me closely, kissing my body
a million times slowly
I tingle in all of the spaces
between what makes this body
in the place where
the morning calls to my spirit,

...say my name

Friday, February 14, 2014

Owner of a loner's heart

So was this going to be just another day of Valentines
where I sat back, resenting the day because love had just walked out my door again?

Resigned to abort this pregnant moment for it was empty if not filled
by my own heart's supposed pleasures- - so most assuredly, born to fail.

Until I opened the door of joy to a place just beyond me, beyond
what it is I wished to see. It was you- I saw your love and I believed.

Now I know.
Now I know just how delicious love can be, for in my heart was your love, which I let engulf the heart of me.

Happy Valentine's Day to all of those who profess their love! I loved this day, after all, because I let the love that filled it, fill me. There were beaming little children handing me Smarties and Kisses, there were love swept lovers receiving flowers and balloons, there were songs of promise and loss that filled the air. There was love-it was everywhere. And I licked it up, letting their love become my love. I gave thanks for all of the beauty that I touched and tasted. This magical act of surrender bulldozed the loneliness right out of my heart.  Thank you.

Plus, don't forget that

Love is an energy that is neither created nor destroyed;
it simply transforms as it
burns ferociously...
glows as embers...
or scatters across the universe as dancing ashes. . ..   . . ... . . . . .

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Crushing blow

Stop hiding under rocks. The only thing that can ever hurt you is your fear.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Lighten up!

a breeze blows and
how the willow bends,
the mighty oak rustles or
the dead leaf dances-

these are the songs
of the willow,
the mighty oak and
the dead leaf, only.

we dance our own dance
sing our own song
but know that each breeze
although one, touches many.

Maybe god is a breeze. Maybe god is LOVE. Maybe LOVE is G( )D. Fix your wind-messed hair, would you? No don't- I guess I like it a little messy. Thank you.

Today's angel card: SURPRISE! Keep an open mind. The influence of grace is often found in unexpected places.
Don't ask me to define grace-I can't even define G( )D, let alone its greatest quality.  Maybe I'll go ask the trees or the breeze what they know of grace. I bet there are a lot of giggles there. Why don't more people giggle and enjoy things instead of deciding how they 'should' be? 

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Mirror, mirror on the moon

As I walked around the pool tonight, circling again and again, I saw the moon's reflection. It's the same moon, always-but it looks so different each time I look. I hadn't seen or noticed it in weeks-not since the last time it hung in the sky above me when I barely noticed it beyond the laughter and smiles, but could feel it painting a new face. I finally got brave and looked up to stare into its face. It was a far different face than I remembered.

Feeling the need to alter my perceived truth I went to the other side of the yard where I don't usually walk. No longer able to resist, I turned to look and saw it through a nested pattern of barren twigs which will be a leafy tree again in a few months.

There is nothing that can't seem like dark in one moment, and then light in another.  A beautiful ride through town can turn ugly when you see a bleeding and homeless man on the side of the road or when you find yourself suddenly driving behind the person who tossed you away.

Don't look away.

You know how each time you grieve, you find yourself hurting for ALL that you have lost? It all feels eerily, painfully familiar, creating a crescendo of pain with drums pinging and chords slaying you. But happiness has the very same effect. What if, instead of hiding in the ditches of despair, you honor the good in what happened? What if you find the love in it AGAIN? It doesn't even matter from whom the love came-the spinning ball of life is nurtured regardless of the well that watered it, or the one that it drank from.

So that little white ball that floated quietly on the pool's surface was the same one that cut me through the barren twigs. Either way it  shows me the light if I just look. And it always will. Our choice, always.

Sunday, February 9, 2014

What he said...

I am tired of hearing what God is from head-tripping men. I am tired of hearing what God is from isolationists on a spiritual quest. I am tired of hearing what God is from lovers of detachment. I want to hear about a juicy God, a creative God, a relational God, a God that arises when we jump into life and stop playing it safe, watching it race by like a passing train. Its time for the dancers to tell us what God is. Its time for the artists to tell us what God is. Its time for the lovers to tell us what God is. We are not here to watch God from afar. We are here to live God from the inside out. -Jeff Brown

And I saw God

In the glistening captured sun in the early morning's dew

And I heard God

In the thunderous pleasure that spilled from my singing lips

And I felt God

In the edge of the leaf that grazed me as it rode your breath home

And I tasted God

In your offering as I ate from your hands all bloodied

And God touched me

When you looked into my eyes

Comfortably numb

Dizzied by the waves as they try to come to me
Swept off my feet wondering if they ever really knew me
I don't understand the words of these whipping winds that skew me
I'll just stand back now and watch out for you

All of these old poems, these last few weeks, re-alized as I looked inside myself, wondering when love would come to me. It's hard. It's hard to stand at the edge of the stream, thirsting, but not able to drink the cool waters. It's painful to want to baptize yourself in the healing waters, but not able to open the gate to get there. Love is the natural answer to everything, so why is it just a four letter word to so many?

Saturday, February 8, 2014

the silly little dodo bird

Swimming out into the deep blue sea
Floating quietly for a moment til
Thoughts of returning to safety pale
In the light of going for it

Reaching for the splendid dream
Of love or light or bliss
I cannot shelter my heart or soul
From the fear of maybe, losing it

In each day or hour or moment
When fear and doubt are spurned
The moment of bliss when I  touch the light-
This is the point of know return

Sunday, February 2, 2014


Sometimes I run out of love.
It isn't very different from running out of sugar or flour,
as a matter of lack.

A heart that is built from love
can't really run out of love
the way the sky cannot run out of space.
But not all hearts are made of
the strength of love, like
the way that not all buildings are constructed from bricks.
Some hearts are made of straw,
always sucking up whatever treats it can find;
Full only when filling...
the way a painted sky ends at the edge of its page.

But hey, we can remodel our homes
the way we reinvent our hearts,
realizing that we are the source of the warmth;
not the walls or the roof or the floor. 
Could the bricks ever be soft enough to understand this truth?

Well, it doesn't really matter how we get there, now does it? I'll see you at the housewarming and I'll bring a plate of sweets.

Looking to the light

In a dark of early morning
my light touched your light
and the dream of morning was born
your joy was my joy
and happiness saw its own face
my tears washed your hands
and we made love a new way
your thoughts knew my mind
and this new world is born

Good morning...
Ḽ☮ṽ∊ ℵ Ḽ유❡ℌ☂ ⑵ Ṳ!

Last night I asked the angels
to show my love to me
to bring me to his splendor
awakened in my dream

Perched on the edge of a thick pink cloud
I spread my wings and calling out
you heard my song and then you came
and we danced across the night

Morning's glory gently woke me
from my soft, moist grassy nest
but she dared not take from me,
you, my greatest awakening

Walking the path the whispered
pleas wafted to me from the trees
The words, unclear, I could not hear
yet I knew they spoke of you, my dear

So I ran through the streets
of this big, scary city
searching for you
in every nook and cranny

Scanning the faces of
each one in the masses
Holding my breath til
each soul by me, passed

And I wait tired in the light
on the corner in the night
Oh angels, hear my prayer
One more time- please take me there