Saturday, January 23, 2010
stumbling across the days
blinking my eyes, mouthing my words
nothing to feel along the way
Two weeks of "ick." Where have I gone? Why did I go?
This morning I trekked across the muddy, quenched earth, praying for some comfort. I have not been able to generate my own, so I asked the universe for a little help. Relying on the most basic of meditation practices, I wiped my mind of any thought of my own, that even peeked its little head into my consciousness. After a few hard-fought minutes, the canvas was clear.
There were an infinite number of mini-streams, broken branches, puddles and mud slides to admire. This most familiar path was a whole new adventure. The dogs chased a few scampering creatures to their safe havens beneath bushes and behind rocks. They always look so puzzled when their hunt mysteriously ends. Noticing several impressive tunnels probably dug by gophers, panic struck me. I couldn't help but wonder if these tunnels flooded in the heavy rains. Wanting to think otherwise, logic chastised my optimism as I submitted to the horror of probable reality. What if there were babies in there? What if weeks or months of hard earned harvests were washed away?
Empathy for the gophers' plights unfortunately re-kindled my own sadness for a moment. Why? Why, why, why, why, why, why, why?
A little further down my walk was what used to be a clearing. Today it was carpeted with nature's litter. Do you think gophers spend much time grieving the loss of their nest or nourishment? They probably just get right back to work, building a new life because that is what needs to be done. I looked up and smothering the peaks of the Cuyamacas were deep, billowing clouds. The prodigal sun whose unprecedented strength illuminated both their depths and their reach, shouted to me that today, I walk a new earth.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Oh let me be the one
Who fills and moves your sails
The one who thrills your senses
Love that never pales
Let me be the coupling
That conducts your flowing current
The pulse that beats and quickens
The one your yearning dream meant
My heart knew yours
So long ago
It might have been a dream
But then I saw your
Face once more
Among the living realm
Why don't you want to be the one
The one who’d die to move me
The one who craves this radiant vibe
To soothe your soul completely
Oh won’t you be the kiss of g~d
Your lips upon my lips
My sweetest song, like heaven's touch
Strummed from your fingertips
Your heart knew mine
Before, I know
In a different place and time
When I saw your face in
this familiar place
I hoped you’d soon be mine
Monday, January 11, 2010
but we also encounter whatever we have been avoiding. We must have the courage to face whatever is present- our pain, our desires, our grief, our loss, our secret hopes, our love- everything that moves us most deeply. -J Kornfield