Reaching out beyond the dream of what you thought was real, spinning on this ball of life, head now under heel. Ready to die, to live this life so raw, alive on ledge- dancing, hurling, freeing your soul to finally stretch the edge.

Friday, June 8, 2018

It's okay to be

scared
.it's what we do in our darkest hours, that we have most to stew upon

happy
.joy is what we take from any and every moment, each time we choose to

sad
.life is a crapshoot, one minute you're winning and the next, you just ain't

disillusioned
.it ain't all what we thought it should be or we'd all be writing children's songs and then who,

full
.but who would feed us?


I yearn to be hungry, just one more time

Do I hear what's right here?

the night we sat
nearly naked
by the fountain

I believed in us

or was it your
colorful, sancrimonious
boasting of ideal

either way, I fell


Thursday, March 29, 2018

You can hide, but you can't run

According to the gospel of the godness of John Lennon, some of his famous words:

Instant Karma's gonna get you
Gonna knock you right on the head
You better get yourself together
Pretty soon you're gonna be dead
What in the world you thinking of
Laughing in the face of love
What on earth you tryin' to do
It's up to you, yeah you
Instant Karma's gonna get you
Gonna look you right in the face
Better get yourself together darlin'
Join the human race
How in the world you gonna see
Laughin' at fools like me
Who in the hell d'you think you are
A super star
Well, right you are
Well we all shine on
Like the moon and the stars and the sun
Well we all shine on
Ev'ryone come on
Instant Karma's gonna get you
Gonna knock you off your feet
Better recognize your brothers
Ev'ryone you meet
Why in the world are we here
Surely not to live in pain and fear
Why on earth are you there
When you're ev'rywhere
Come and get your share
Well we all shine on
Like the moon and the stars and the sun
Yeah we all shine on
Come on and on and on on on
Yeah yeah, alright, uh huh, ah
Well we all shine on
Like the moon and the stars and the sun
Yeah we all shine on
On and on and on on and on

blind promises

For which, are the greatest sins of man
committed:

the ones she attaches herself to
for the sake of others,

or the ones where he is blindly addicted
to himself


I see  you, you see me,
and somehow we muddle through

Tuesday, March 27, 2018

My jaded little sprout

jaded

.
Sometimes when the rain pours down
Making mud of my earthy treasures
Amidst the gray of weather’s cover;
I wonder why the jade tree bleeds

Patiently waiting for warmth and wonder
But then comes sun’s relentless heat
Not quite parched yet, nor withered;
I hear the jade tree cry

Yes I'll be the one to taste your wonder,
Stand strong with you in the harshest weather
Then bloom you will, in the warmth of sun;
and sing of the jade tree's flowering beauty

On this path we roam we must, from the sun, sometimes lower our sight
For if we never shade our eyes, we will be blinded by the light


#perfectionisbullshit
#icannotseewhatyousee

Wednesday, March 21, 2018

Countless betrayals

What did I do
yet again

or maybe it was
something
I didn't do

I gave you nothing
but my desire and kindness
and yet

you are so unkind
to me

What was it that you meant, exactly,
when you said I could always count on you?
You promised to take care of me.


Yes, I'm angry. Anger is normal. Talking is normal. Shushing people isn't.  But forgive me, I forgot that only you make the rules.

Saturday, March 17, 2018



"Not The Doctor"

I don't want to be the filler if the void is solely yours
I don't want to be your glass of single malt whiskey
Hidden in the bottom drawer
I don't want to be a bandage if the wound is not mine
Lend me some fresh air
I don't want to be adored for what I merely represent to you
I don't want to be your babysitter
You're a very big boy now
I don't want to be your mother
I didn't carry you in my womb for nine months
Show me the back door

Visiting hours are 9 to 5 and if I show up at 10 past 6
Well I already know that you'd find some way to sneak me in and oh
Mind the empty bottle with the holes along the bottom
You see it's too much to ask for and I am not the doctor

I don't want to be the sweeper of the egg shells that you walk upon
And I don't want to be your other half, I believe that 1 and 1 make 2
I don't want to be your food or the light from the fridge on your face
At midnight, hey
What are you hungry for
I don't want to be the glue that holds your pieces together
I don't want to be your idol
See this pedestal is high and I'm afraid of heights
I don't want to be lived through
A vicarious occasion
Please open the window

Visiting hours are 9 to 5 and if I show up at 10 past 6
Well I already know that you'd find some way to sneak me in and oh
Mind the empty bottle with the holes along the bottom
You see it's too much to ask for and I am not the doctor

I don't want to live on someday when my motto is last week
I don't want to be responsible for your fractured heart
And it's wounded beat
I don't want to be a substitute for the smoke you've been inhaling
What do you thank me
What do you thank me for

Visiting hours are 9 to 5 and if I show up at 10 past 6
Well I already know that you'd find some way to sneak me in and oh
Mind the empty bottle with the holes along the bottom
You see it's too much to ask for and I am not the doctor

Tuesday, March 13, 2018

Deja You

Almost one year ago.

I have got to figure out how to break this broken cycle.

3.31

The chug, chug, glug of the coffee
maker dripping what I want,
like always before

Today with no good morning
on my phone or
reason to rush home

I'll take another sip
from this familiar cup as
once again, it fills with pain

With every drip
rip.ping
me apart