more than this

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I knew that the trail would be fun this morning as everything was a little different. The coolness of the moist air... well that is my tequila! It always makes me feel so very good. It was a little bit colder than I thought it would be. Fortunately there was a scarf sitting on the front seat of the car, so I wrapped myself up.

Yesterday morning found me so awakened. I seem to be in one of those states where all of my thoughts and actions are connecting with things that I hear, read, or see. Perhaps it's the sadness of this past week that has heightened my sensitivity, or maybe my fear of stagnancy. The one thing that I have come to know and trust, is that I must keep the vibration going. So when my trek was stifled by the rushing river which I had dreamed of in my waking, I did not pause. I enjoyed the novelty of this road block. I heard its sweet rushing song and reveled in its energy. There was nothing else to do but honor it and find a new path.

There was no rushing river this morning. Yesterday's delightful barrier was today's patterned canvas of sediment and color. The forceful stream was now just a memory that I could no longer touch. But in its place, lived something equally beautiful. It's funny how we are so affected by the storm, and don't spend as much time honoring its aftermath. What is left once the deluge subsides is what remains to be honored, and must be because it is reality's leftovers.

There was so much to think about this morning. And there was so much to see... autumn's splendor, a convention of cawing crows, Poochi bouncing through the weeds, trees- their silhouettes against the gray sky, the dead owl that remains untouched on the hillside, a new pile of carefully stacked totem rocks, and me.

My heart has been heavy with sadness, grief, fear and disappointment this week. My rushing river had kept me from going where I needed to be. But maybe that space I was lost in, was where I needed to be. It's time to take a look inside and find a way through the rushing. That river- both a gift and a barrier, can either carry me away, or take me where I need to be.

There was no dust today as I trampled over the hills. The earth now quenched, offered me surer footing, deeper colors, and a path decked with new wonders.

In spite of what happens to hurt or heal me I am grateful for my constants. They may look or feel a little different once the river stops rushing, but there is no denying their newer depth (a greater well) or their heightened intensity.

Thank you!