Reaching out beyond the dream of what you thought was real, spinning on this ball of life, head now under heel. Ready to die, to live this life so raw, alive on ledge- dancing, hurling, freeing your soul to finally stretch the edge.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Hoping

What we're looking for always seems to find us when we are not really looking.  We have all heard this and I know that I have wanted to believe it, but lately I haven't been believing in much of anything other than just letting things be.  It's been about a year since I have felt the kind of joy I have since abandoned. Maybe it's the time of year that stirred up my emotions and desire again. So I had been keeping a watchful eye out, hoping to find that thrill again.  Around every corner and as I opened each door, I held my breath hoping to find it. But more times than not I have reminded myself that the yearning and burning desire for a magnificent dream needs to take a back seat to the simplicity of being grateful for all of the little things... the things that make every day wonderful.

My overpowering craving for grapes guided my car into the Stater Bros parking lot this morning.  My hunger being a bit more voracious this morning than usual, I also grabbed some of my favorite yogurt before heading down the power aisle toward the far end of the store, not sure what it was that I was looking for. You know how your eyes just catch a glance from a stranger and your insides get all crazy and dizzy and you see what you have always known, all of your life and with all of your soul? My heart started beating faster, making me a little bit dizzier and I wasn't sure anymore if I was really seeing what I thought I was.

Taking a few slow, but steady steps as I shook with excitement, I got a little closer as I became more sure of what I was seeing. This, the hope I thought I had lost, was staring me right back in the face, making my tummy flip. No words were needed as I reached out to touch, to be sure- and I grasped the beautiful neck of the firm body and I swooned.  Pumpkin Spice coffee creamer! And to think that I never thought I'd see it again. This little reminder to never give up hope came at a time most surely needed. Life's little gifts...

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