The leopard's spots, unspoken

Dear Laura,

Another year has now gone and as I look around I see people everywhere, putting this last one behind them.  There are countless remarks of thankfulness that it's over, or recounting of the bad that seemed to have a hold on it.  Everyone, it seems, is looking forward, with hope for something better.

I was sad to see this year end, for it has been the most incredible year of my life.  The last hour of 2010 I spent in solitude, holding tightly, holding dearly, the goodness that I was fortunate enough to touch.  This was the year where I let go and allowed the most authentic me to live my life out loud.  This was the year that my family bore the fruits of healing, and breathed more easily.  Within these past 12 months my broken heart and will learned to live and love again. In this year I found forgiveness in that love, and freed myself to move forward.  In a year's time I turned around some bad situations and in spite of the wealth that flooded me, I did not drown in its lure.  I stayed focused on what was important and meaningful.  And in this year I found a craving for that which is good and right.  I look better, I feel better and I am moving forward in a loving and gentle way.

Bidding farewell to a beloved friend is never easy, and I don't really have to say goodbye to last year because it was just yesterday and it is always with me.  But as I welcome this new day, this new week, this month and this year I find myself trembling at the thought of moving forward.  I've never been here before- this place of knowing and moving forward.  My fingers are stumbling on this keyboard, as my heart stutters and my mind shudders, afraid to cough up my thoughts, my intentions for 2011.

As I have been entertaining the possibilities of what to do with my life I have been open to suggestions that will help point me in the right direction.  Yesterday I engaged in an exercise that showed me what is most important to me.  And it is to be loved. 
I want to be in a loving relationship that allows us both to be who we are, something wonderful together, and able to laugh, grow, cry, and enjoy each other. 
Then there is my life's path.  What am I supposed to do?  This year I will know what my purpose is and I will get working on whatever needs to be done, to get there. 
I will be a much stronger and more fit me each day of this year. 
I will not let fear stop me from tackling personal difficulties.

My gratitude for your kindness, your patience, your understanding and your laughter humble me. Thank you for holding me up when no one knew how heavy our heart was.  Thank you for the love that has grown stronger in us, in spite of what we were dealt.  Thank you, Laura, for the strength to walk gracefully even when the path was not clear.

Namaste,
Yourself