I hope I would have done things a little differently.
If I had known that love isn't always happy or perfect
I hope I would have loved you a little more.
If I had known that pain is the main ingredient in appreciation
I think I would have thought of you a little differently.
If I had known how important kindness and generosity were
and how seldom they are laid at your feet
I am pretty sure I would have wanted you more.
If I had known how loyalty is priceless
I would have spent everything to keep you
If I had known that wanting is liberation and not weakness,
I swear I would have wanted you more.
If I had known that watching you writhe would
inflict my own pain
I would have gauged my own eyes out
and spared you
I wish I had known that hurting you
hurt me more.
I wish I could have known what love was
when you were wanting to love me
I didn't know that love was a gift for my taking
I didn't know that you needed mine too
I didn't know that kindness always mattered
I didn't know that was all I'd ever need.
But now I know
and I want you to know,
that now that I can't,
I love you so.
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