Reaching out beyond the dream of what you thought was real, spinning on this ball of life, head now under heel. Ready to die, to live this life so raw, alive on ledge- dancing, hurling, freeing your soul to finally stretch the edge.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

If I had only known

If I had known how much it takes to give to someone who doesn't love you,
I hope I would have done things a little differently.
If I had known that love isn't always happy or perfect
I hope I would have loved you a little more.
If I had known that pain is the main ingredient in appreciation
I think I would have thought of you a little differently.
If I had known how important kindness and generosity were
and how seldom they are laid at your feet
I am pretty sure I would have wanted you more.
If I had known how loyalty is priceless
I would have spent everything to keep you

If I had known that wanting is liberation and not weakness,
I swear I would have wanted you more.
If I had known that watching you writhe would
inflict my own pain
I would have gauged my own eyes out
and spared you
I wish I had known that hurting you
hurt me more.
I wish I could have known what love was
when you were wanting to love me
I didn't know that love was a gift for my taking
I didn't know that you needed mine too
I didn't know that kindness always mattered
I didn't know that was all I'd ever need.

But now I know
and I want you to know,
that now that I can't,
I love you so.

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