Alright, so it was one of those days. One of THOSE days. Nothing was going to be easy and clearly, none of it was going to feel all that good either. For an ecstasy junkie (and I ain't talking chemicals here), this was the worst kind of withdrawal. I worked hard on this project. Thought I had it down cold. Assumed I could pull off the finish with both hands tied behind my back. Guess I didn't expect the whole rest of me to be knotted too. Several times as I watched my data download, in horrific disbelief, I KNEW that it would eventually be okay.
I knew.
So why did I give in to the drama of defeat? Would it have somehow alleviated the pain of failure, had it come to that? How is it not the most important, that I did my best and kept trying in spite of the failure? How did I lose the best part of me- the one that knows that nothing can harm me and that there is no failure- only opportunities for improvement?
A little self adjustment, re-adjustment of reality and I was back to where I needed to be. It only took a couple of minutes before I remembered that the failure and frustration were not the goal or the focus- the finding my way out of it was.
Om nama shivaya.
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