Within the quiet of morning

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Awaking to a tortured cat call I felt myself nestled deep in a roll of blankets.  The light was already filling the moisture-drenched fog that blanketed my little world.  It made me wonder if the light actually lives in the moisture, or in the gaps between the water drops. 

Rolling out of bed, I found myself immediately grateful for the soothing gray blanket, a cool promise for a pleasant morning... at least for a little while, anyway.  The temptation to stay stalled my motion, and I thought I'd climb back into bed, lounge dreamily, enjoying these pleasure shades, and day-dreaming of more.  But, already in motion I simply traded in one pleasure for the next.

Reaching for the gray robe, its medium weight and soft, scalloped texture containing the perfect solution to complement my morning, I noticed that this coffee feels like the steady, gentle rain  that quenches a parched parcel of earth.  I wait for its jolt, to welcome my waking.  (Jake gave me this robe and whenever he sees me wearing it, he can't help but touch it, touch me.)  In the meantime I enjoy this hazy, lazy sensation.

Last night I got the news that a loved one suffered a fatal blow, but was hanging on.  Not expected to survive, her life was suspended in an altered state.  The wonder of where her soul now dwells imprisoned my mind.  I dread the ringing of my pretty new phone, but I know it will.  There is that chasm in time, heart, space and mind where we can hide, nestle ourselves, quiver, or wait like a child who shivers with enthusiastic anticipation.  A place where suspended in our joy or pain, we choose to either dwell motionless, or move forward.

So much of our lives is spent trying to survive situations, bad feelings and change.  But this is life!  Life is the navigation of ALL the good, bads and unforeseens.  It's never going to be a rosy-lined yellow brick road.  Its path is filled with downed trees, weeds, and thorns all adorning this "beautiful" journey.  You gotta learn to honor the chasms, navigate the divides, and lay dreamily amidst the shades of gray.

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