(Re)Born Free

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We got a great, early start on the trail this morning, before the sun peeked over the mountain.  As the back-lighting swelled, the yucca became magnificent installations of shadows against the sky.

The bunny madness was so much fun to watch today.  They must be at the height of the reproduction cycle because there were more of them, than there were gnats.  My pups were practically dizzy watching, their heads darting back and forth, to and fro- wishing they were running with them (or more likely, after them).  Every now and then one would be close enough that at the leash's extension, they could almost reach one.  Each time they failed they simply waited for the next bunny to hop along. 

Acceptance of a situation following any form of loss, is what we need to achieve, to move on.  This rarely comes easily (unless you're a dog), but I'm beginning to know that it can certainly be easier.  As many times as my heart has broken, it breaks again, every time I learn of someone else's loss.  There is nothing you can do about grief, other than survive it.  It's real.  It's painful, debilitating, and can paralyze the most sensitive heart.  I know.

Another thing that I know is that love- the one that burns in our hearts- the one that we can't seem to shake- the one that we're always trying to find again- it never left you.  That love is not part nor parcel of a former relationship, not lost in time because someone is no longer loving you.  It is right there- yours for the taking- in your own heart.  All that we know, seek, love, are, or long to be- they're all parts of us now.  That beautiful love that you knew, it is you now.  And that part of it that moved on, well- it's gone.  In time you will know it again- maybe in a new color, song, or words- you just need to want it.

Sometimes love changes.  Sometimes people move on.  This is what renders a heart hopeless.  Beyond the grief of losing that which you hold so dear, remains your love.  Maybe it's a bit withered or weathered, but always- yours for the taking and yours to share with a new heart.  I've had an incredible few years meeting new friends who want to love.  But, giving your heart away can be a very scary thing.  There were times that I've just wanted to shake someone in the hopes that they'd come to their senses.  But what sense is there in convincing someone to love you?  Only the wild, free, authentic choices that we make where are hearts feel at home, are the ones worth making- or having.  Love, that thing that burns in your heart, is re-defined every time you fall again.  No two loves are alike, and why would you want them to be?  Keeping your heart anchored to a leash is certainly the safest choice, but me?  I'm running with the bunnies.  I would rather die, trying.

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