What can harm us more than our own irrational fears? Not even death- for when we are gone, there can be no more fear or disappointment. No pain whatsoever.
What can be more exhilarating than to stand naked and alive in the light of emptiness? Where nothing tethers our will, and nothing impedes our motion? To be a vacuum that craves nothing but to be filled with substance? Substantial substance.
This little roller coaster of mine finds me exhilarated in my freedom in one moment, then plummeting into an abyss of worry in the next one. The key, I believe, is to be aware of my reaction and to remember that life is hard, but life is good. Life can be scary, but I've survived far worse things than what I'm facing now. It is not life that drowns us. My regrets might be a bit more relevant now, but this too is my opportunity to mourn and move on.
It's my party. I'll cry if I want to.
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