Wholly, holey, unholy

Sunday morning, very bright

I read your book by colored light

That came in through the

Pretty window picture…

Lord, God Almighty... I probably should have hit the trails a little earlier today, as they fill up rather quickly after eight- especially on Sundays. The laziness that left me lingering in my pjs was like that shot of heroin that removes you from reality, relocating you into a state of fantastic denial. My mental list of things to do overwhelmed and paralyzed me. My lips felt fat and dry and my body was listless. Dragging myself out of the bed to recycle last night's margaritas, I caught a sideways glimpse of myself in the big bathroom mirror. Was that thinning, beautiful girl… me?

Stumbling through the room, throwing on some sweats, I couldn’t get down the stairs fast enough. We were on our way.

I spent a little bit of time wondering what had made me so unholy this morning as we crunched upward through the withering grass and weeds. It was disappointment- my fiercest foe. Re-visiting some of my toxicant life choices from time to time, I try to recondition my hole-peppered existence, to realize the intoxication of beauty. Why is it that even after I’ve learned a lesson I fall right back into the hole that swallowed me before? So we (disappointment and me) sparred for a quick minute before I found myself laughing in the dirt.

We crested the trail and my head filled with songs, verbs and colorful images, as my soul flooded with thoughts and emotions. It’s what we choose to breathe that shapes our whole. Breathing isn’t a temporary fix- it’s our life's source. Choosing our intoxication is what makes the difference. The more I choose beauty, the more beautiful I am, or you are, or we see in each other. It’s so simple… breathe in beauty and exhale the same.