Being with sadness isn't all that bad. It's a better place to be, than running from it. Unfortunately it has left me a bit scattered and for a girl who aims to always be sharper than the tack, a bit disoriented. A bit of a relief, as well, if I allow myself to be honest.
In the midst of this fog I took one wrong step. Just one-and down I went. I don't remember the fall and maybe it was because I didn't fight it-I just let go. Or maybe it was because I whacked my head so hard on the way down and falling through a black hole leaves no accounting of what happened. My whole body is reeling from the pain now and I ask-how could every limb have sustained the brunt of the fall? How is it that my whole self hurts?
Being in pain isn't all that bad. This will pass, the fuzziness will fade, the sprains will heal and the bruises will disappear. While I wait I will just be with it. Gotta stay still til my head gets better, so this is a great time to be silent and just listen. A lot of what I'm hearing doesn't make sense. But that's the people talking to me, asking if I'm okay or what day I think it is. I am okay. This is today, the day that I cannot run from my hurting heart. There's nothing wrong with being with pain. It's an honest place to be.
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