I suppose that I have always known that one of my "jobs" here on earth, is to make people smile. It has never been a problem for me, to be silly, or make a fool of my self; for someone else's benefit. How I got so lucky, at such a young age, to know that what other people think of me, just doesn't matter. Or, that there is no price not worth paying, to bring joy to another.
It is the giving that matters most in what we do.
After over 12 months of sometimes excruciating pain- the end was in sight. Just a kidney stone, which should be no big deal to take care of, was the bane of my miserable pain. A three minute CAT scan was all the proof my doctor needed to see the simple explanation behind all of this pain. One little rock. Of course it was impacted into its wall by swelling, but with 30 minutes' effort, it would be gone. This man who was going to rescue me from the captivity of pain is very somber, and rarely ever smiles. It's not like me to not enjoy time with anyone because there is always something to laugh about or share, but he is a bit of a cold fish. I don't know if he doesn't have time for fun, or simply refuses it, but he was not, despite my best efforts, going to be toyed with.
The nurses were wonderful as they prepped me for surgery. I felt so warm and re-assured as they catered to my every need. I actually thought to myself that an occasional kidney stone wouldn't be a bad thing, if the result was getting this kind of caring. They wheeled me to the OR where the OR nurse and her student came to greet me. Then the anesthesiologist, whom I could not understand (but I surmised must be smarter and greater than the others because he was Chinese) came and introduced himself. They all commented about how healthy I was as they asked the same questions over and over. No, I have no allergies. No, I have never died under anesthesia (not for more than a couple of minutes anyway), and NO- I have not eaten anything! And yes, I have removed my contacts!
Finally, they all bowed in spirit as the man in the deep berry-colored shirt and sharply coordinated tie showed up. I hadn't realized before, what a respected doctor he was. I didn't bother engaging him in my pre-op merriment because I wondered what the point was. He asked how I was (and no, I didn't eat anything), and then looked at me as if he was expecting me to say something. I stayed silent. No jokes for him, today. After turning to leave (I assume to don his glorious scrubs), he turned back at me with half a smirk on his face. He made some joke about killing two birds with one stone, then gently lifted my left hand and marked it with a marker. They do this before putting you out, so that you can approve which side they'll operate on. Makes sense.
It all went pretty smoothly in spite of the collapsing wall which required a stent's insertion. Ouch. When I woke up the loving nurses were once again hovering. In a flash, the scrubbed up doc showed up and asked if I was okay. Then he was gone. I did great so they sent me home.
I am so lucky to be loved by so many. The texts and calls all asked what they could do for me, what did I need, and was I okay. There were many I love yous as well, from family and friends. All because of a tiny pebble that I couldn't pee out.
I had a little soup when I got home and then thought that in spite of my haze I would meditate. I sent love to specific people instead of everyone, one of which was Dr. Nofun. Then I drifted sleepily and deeply away for hours. Upon waking I headed straight to the bathroom and when I was done I went to wash my hands. Looking in the mirror I noticed something weird just above my jawline, on my lower cheek. For the first time that day I put on my glasses, to see what it was. A smiley face on my face? I wondered if my kids were playing some trick on me while I was out cold. But no, they wouldn't be that cruel- not today. Hmmmm... then I looked down and noticed that on the back of my left hand was a deep purple smiley face. Then I remembered that I frequently sleep with my hands tucked under my face. I guess it was his job to make me smile today.
It's good to be cared for.
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