Poochi began to whine as we neared our usual parking spot. I could hear his puppy paws prancing on the leather seat, behind me. I turned to look at him as we just kept driving and he gave me a seriously puzzled look.
I just needed something new. There is no more pain, my lungs are now healed and I feel better than I have in years, so I heeded the quiet call. I'm not sure how a gentle butterfly escapes its cocoon- it just does. There is probably some well-timed chemical breakdown, but I'll subscribe to the generic magic theory.
We climbed for a while. Coco is getting pretty tired, in general, and tried to turn us back quite a few times, but with a little coaxing, she reneged on her negativity and kept going. I wish I wasn't so worried about blazing these unknown trails alone, but usually I am. Something seemed different yesterday- the adventure seemed so easy- although it was steep I did not grow tired and although it was foreign I did not grow weak.
Even though I knew there were two more peaks to conquer, I was so excited when I realized how far I'd gotten. That etheric whisper suggested I turn and look. There were endless hills soaking in the richest depths of color, some smothering in face masks of ether- that took my breath away. The enormity and the endless expanse elevated me as I engulfed its beauty within my own being. I could not, did not and needed not, breathe.
My sweet old lab was tired so we began the descent. As with any core-trembling quake, the hours that followed were filled with flashbacks laced with ecstasy. Everything from Kate running through green grass with her pretty dress floating behind her as Deb's bonnet went flying into the wind, buying yellow Peeps for my dad (he didn't like the white or pink ones), hiding eggs in little Frankie's hood as he searched for them (pretty funny footage), to memories of being loved.
Kate came for her first official visit as a visitor and brought me some candy! We had a fun time prepping food and chatting but she got tired and went to take a little nap. I thought it would be a great time to head down to the lower deck to meditate while the sun warmed my face. Two minutes into it I knew there would be an earthquake. I didn't know there would be 300 of them in 24 hours, but the message was loud. Assuming I was just day dreaming I continued on with my meta moments. When I was done I just laid there in a state of complete serenity just soaking up the warmth. It got a little too hot so I moved over to the shady part of the deck. Then the trembling started. It didn't stop like it usually does- it just got stronger and louder. The old lady next door was yelling because she fell down. Her husband called to her to just stay down. I had trouble getting up the stairs to the house level and was relieved once I got there to see the kids heading out the front door. My best guess is that it lasted about two minutes. I didn't know they could last that long and that was certainly the strongest one I had ever experienced.
All day long the quakes just kept coming. There were a couple that woke me up throughout the night (I'll be needing a nap today) as my floor shook and the big glass doors rattled. There is an excitement within this life that keeps me naked, raw and alive in the absence of knowing what's coming next. I got a letter from a sweet friend yesterday morning, who reminded me that the journey is the prize. Given my recent observations that truth and knowledge are as impermanent as any given moment, in this minute I celebrate that relevance and its wonder.
So if the answer is so obvious as to stand alone, then there never really was a question, was there? Be still, and know that I am, is the answer.
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