There's a whole in the sonnet, dear Laura, dear Laura...

You must have known the way it felt
when I fell into your kiss so deep
you surely felt my woman melt
your steel resolve, while on my knees

Verse 2  (...grrrrr this is going to be a tough one)
Is it okay to skip a verse? What if it's the bridge between the insanity and the reality of life. Is either one real? It's just love. This is just life. I'm praying:Please don't give up on me.

But I think maybe you didn't see
the things that I had seen
for if you felt what I can feel
you'd still be here, loving me

Happy Fifth of July!

"One who loves all the world as if it were his own flesh and blood, can be relied upon to rule an empire." - Lao Tzu

I wonder how it makes God (or in my little world, "Love") feel to see that all of these children have drawn lines between themselves and their others.

I can't help but think that it tears the very fabric of being away from its cloaking, to reveal a broken, baffled patriarch who wanted nothing more than to watch its offspring thrive and be happy.

How sad that we can't hear each other's pleas, see each other's smiles and hug each other's children.

In the name of self we have claimed or stolen land so that we can feed our own children. Then we condemn others for trying to commit the sins which we had already mastered.

I look at my own children and know that my parental love wants to see them thrive and be happy. So how could a "greater" love than this want anything less for its beloved? For whose children have you planted your flag? Whose love are you emulating?

Love is love. Go get you some!

It's never too late to be something better.

Hey Guru!

I'm not sure how a person of spiritual "maturity" could see someone as not spiritually mature. Isn't the whole goal to be living in Love? Love doesn't cast stones or suppositions. Love just is.

I'm pretty sure Love laughs a lot, though. Mostly because everything is wonderful, but also because some spiritually mature people do silly things. :) 

Skirtin the edge

I want to be with you
when the morning comes upon itself
waiting to be this day

Can I watch as the
beaming lights ring out the sound
of breathless beauty
while they turn to kiss your face

Touch this piece of me
engorged by the rising mist of this
morning, breaking bad


Challenge your conventions, Babe. Follow me.

stranger rhythm

So did you wanna come up
and listen to some music with me?

We'll climb high, high up
into the old oak tree

til at last we take a breath
for all is ours to see

iloveyousodamnmuch

"I got a rock!"

Yesterday, standing in front of the Pacific monster, I watched it quietly end its journey, kissing my feet. Then I remembered. In order to remember, you must first have forgotten. But how do you forget to laugh, breathe, celebrate and hope?

A few months ago when everything seemed to be moving along peacefully, something shifted. It started with a rock through a window. Two weeks later there was a crash. Then my dog died. Not far after, I almost died because of a tiny little kidney stone. The road back has been long, hard, painful and lonely. There has been heartache and fear- enough to scare even a mother, and there has been a lot of disappointment. My birthday came and went with just one birthday card and zero celebrations, my years of dedication to raising a child ended with me crying the night away when he wasn't allowed to put on a cap and gown and do the walk. My crazy hard work in spite of all of this has left me exhausted and emotionally listless.

Being the introspective person that I am, I am always considering things for myself that could be different, better, worse. I give thanks daily, even every minute for the things that go right- even if they are fleeting or fleeing. I give love, support, money, guidance and my heart each time I have the opportunity. I have read countless times, and firmly believe, that we get back what we give out. So where's my reward?

As the languishing layers of water glided in, each on the back of its forerunner, I could hear the crashing of the waves beyond, but kept my focus on the tiny toe tickles that were actually touching me. Do you remember the Charlie Brown Halloween special where the kids are trick or treating and after each stop when their bags were a little more full, they would each proclaim, "I got a lollipop!" "I got candy corn!" or "I got a penny." But poor Charlie Brown, all forlorn, could only offer up, "I got a rock." I don't know why this little scene has played a thousand times in my head over the years, when I clearly would have preferred a lollipop or a shiny penny, but it rings clearly from time to time. Yesterday I remembered the day that I first heard rocks tumbling in the somewhat brisk rolling of the waves that decided to go for it, until they ran out of ocean, laying all kinds of colors at my feet. It was so damn beautiful so I let them thrill me with their own presentation, before making them into my own art.

Not wanting to insult the ocean with my woeful rendition of salt water, I held my tears back yesterday when I let myself remember how alone I was in the hospital, how unappreciated I felt as my birthday went uncelebrated, how sad I remain that my sweet dog is gone, and how puzzled I have become that love keeps teasing me. I guess it was the moment that I decided to be done crying about the last few months and all of the difficulties. I did ask one more time though, "Life, why do you keep throwing rocks at me?"

Just as I was getting ready to retire to my chair, one particularly frisky wave came rolling in and laid a smooth little rock next to my foot. Just one. Something is coming...

Hiding in the shadows...

It is in the long shadows within the shade
it waits for me til I call its name

It is grimmest gray as it hugs yearning earth
dowsing parched, withered greens, quenching their thirst

It is explosive light trapped in a singular cloud
unabashedly longing to be bursting out

It is the dark within a dreary, cold night
blindly reaching for more, as it craves warmth and light

It is rising sun's splendor kissing ocean's still plane
til its rushing and swelling spawns joy's crashing wave

It is spilling your soul into hands cupped with care
that hold it so dear, just let go - and you're there

It is in the long shadows within the shade
I dance madly, gladly, calling its name

It is what it is, nothing more, nothing less
cuz you get what you chase, so go follow your bliss

Knitting daisy chains

The only real source of sin, I believe
is in not seeing the god in me

or you

We were all made with a wish
to be the greatest happiness within

each other

What do you see in me?

Manifestd'amour

You did not just tell me

That I don’t really want it

Or I’d already have it-

Now, did you?

I want it

I want it so bad

That I can taste it in anything

And see it anywhere that

There’s even a little bit of magic.

This love is so everything

That I can taste it everywhere-

There’s a little bit of it

In every slippery kiss

Where we share the love

Of all of us,

Every little twinkle in the sky

Because love is love is love.

dance madly beneath the stars with me...

Rolling in the mud

Can't wait til you see it
with your free eye
and your liberated heart
and join me here
where there is only
understanding of what
we are, not what we
need to be

There are no
definitions of
how to get it done
there is merely
this splendor,
a moment owned
by the profundity
of our presence

And one more thing:forgiveness does not reside on a mountain of justifications. It lives in understanding and acceptance. Can you hang here with me?

Did you get your wish?

Hold my heart tonight

keep it safe from all the sounds

of loneliness and fear

and of things I cannot dream

Hold me close tonight

be the soothing balm that

heals me be the easy slip that

frees me... from me

                                       

Hold my heart tonight

reach your strong hand out toward mine

sit beside me in the dimming light

be my brightness, be my guide

Please, won't you hold my heart tonight

be the candle in my darkness

be the strength, the light and kindness

beating through your heart to mine

One of these days, I will get the one thing I still wish for. I guess sometimes as we eek our way toward love the lessons about what love isn't, are just as valuable, as they take our hand and turn us around. We're all just here, walking each other home... thank you.

^squirrel!^

It's true!

It's not that I don't want to listen to you, but the gift of quick 'n wicked wit is accompanied by a mind that shoots in multiple directions at once. The 'gift' comes when you learn to slow your mind down enough to grab onto at least a few of those incredible, inspired ideas, and use them to complete, amuse and compete with others. Within the splitting of a second, you must mold it into your art, and set it off, allowing it to explode into wonder like fireworks. Like any art whether it's music, paintings, sculpted matter, words or laughter, the amusements that we reap some how connect us to our most divine selves-that place where you are home, free. Through art we allow ourselves to identify with emotions from which we would otherwise hide. Broken hearts, death, grief and awakenings are all forbidden parts of ourselves that we need to touch, if we are ever to release ourselves from the bondage of our human forms.

So forgive me, please. Although it may have seemed that I was not with you, I was, just floating away on one of your tangents. Maybe one day I'll capture it in my own face, where you will see yourself.

Take that!

It's like the way the brisk wind struts across your face
whisking your deepest warmth over the sea to that place
where you open your eyes to see you've merely blinked

I get lost, turned around and tossed
bouncing helplessly in the fury of your storm

It's like watching the heat of the stone mountains rise
into the wilting, soggy summer skies
that rained down, or maybe you were crying

Feels more of a tickle than a touch, as if
angels were squeezing through my veins

It's like screaming into the wind,
sounds all warped and hindered by
our deafening secrets which cannot be unspoken

Love is here, even here
and cannot be bent or broken

My love is with you, always

One in a million

Did you see it?
It was a glint of light
mingled with day before
turning to night

one bright flash of wonder
as I danced through the light
propelled by the magic
of this dream's lovely might

Did you hear it?
It was a note of splendor
which harmony joined
in the sweetest surrender

one small clash of thunder
to awaken the earth
of sweet spirits sleeping
awaiting their birth

Did you feel it?
moving just for a second,
the universe trembled
for it knew what my heart meant

one small jolt, this notion,
one heart can't stop beating
this soul for its wanting
one great dream for the taking

     -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -

(And I hovered over you today
I hope you do not mind
but as my heart was flying by,
I felt your soul in kind

one flash of lightning
which caught my eye
was your dream's bright light-
lighting up the sky)

I remember You

These clouds 

won't always be 

so dark. But 

while they are, 

remember 

the beautiful light 

whose absence has now 

defined this 

darkness. 

Then look to the sun which never fails to rise.

See Saw

In the middle of the night
when your heart just won't sleep,

do you ever think of me?

When you watch the leaves
dance in the gray autumn breeze,

can you hear my laughter?

Comes the long summer rains
dripping down your face

surely, you can feel me now.

Ruins

Been here before. Now I
Remember that pain is
Only a symptom of this
Karma thing,
Endlessly reminding us of what we
Need to know

Uncle.

I'm tired of begging to know what I need to. Life keeps throwing rocks at my window while I sleep, trying to wake me, and while I'm awake, trying to knock me out.
But what is it that you say? I'm too blind to read your lips and too deaf to hear your whispered secrets. Please show me what I need to know.

free water in a drought

through my open window
in the very early morning
I heard the sounds of a storm
in the wind nudging the trees
to dance and sing to the beat
of the rain dropping
sounds all around me

through that gap rang the
joyous song of  coyotes
praying grace for the
good that had befallen them
for the filling of their bellies
were the blessings of the gods
for their goodness

into my room seeped
the magic of grace
as grace chose to show me
that love was all around me
in spite of the dark that had bound me
and kept me from being me
quenched in your water, finally free

Waving goodbye

Yesterday lives in all of our tomorrows
Today is the air that steeps the now away
We are never not what has made us
We are always a collage of what we have been
Shining in the light of what we'll be, not
what we once thought
made us wonderful

When it all ends, there will be no past, present or future. There will only be love, cast in shadows of beauty.



"We need beauty because it
makes us ache
to be
worthy of it." -Mary Oliver


Wonderful is like a wave
that breaks and rushes in
not all at once, but with
one breaker riding the back
of another and that,
the one before it.

It's all waves.
It's all ocean.
We're all coming while
we're all going

Dive in
and be baptized
in the tumbling,
shape of danger

Better to drown than to
sit on the shore,
thirsting

Dive in.

the snooze button

Let not my heart be weighted

Nor my love be blind or shaded

If my light be sadly faded

When love comes once again fated,

Knocking at my door

May two fiery souls’ union

Come to me none too soon then

With a blessed and warm reunion

Of two souls' unabashed communion,

Oh love, come call on me

A week from yesterday

Don't be sad
there is nothing left for us to lose
In this emptiness remains
very few things from which to choose
In a world with no apparent riches
there is fullness in the dreams
those which offer simple gifts to us
those which fill the emptiness
with songs of love and light for us

-I always knew you and I always will

wakin up

My soul was born into this world in an evening
when the light barely hinted at the color of the sky
and waited patiently
for the morning to come on the songs of the birds
time to open these eyes and feel
the presence of the light and be
not just a shadow against the coming night
where colors drown themselves in dreams

sing me a new song

a whim or two

The heart of g()d

You must have been the heart of God
when Love was what God thought of

In the radiance of your loving kindness
You ignited the sky's lights by the billions

And in morning's gift of sky so blue, I swear-
God loves me more, when my thoughts are of you

In you, so right, I am blessed and beloved
for you must have been what God thought of

When God first thought to Love

The will to love

Is it the light slipping quickly
through the flitting leaves,
whose swiftness deems it
blindingly sharp?
Is it the cool of the spring's
evening air that freezes the warmth
of the hills' cold and stoney heart

Could the absence of love
be the valley in which
her soul drowns in
the early morning's gray fog
Is it the night, or its loneliness,
that chases her heart from
the hands of hope and love

Where is the will
the wanting and the thrill
for it seems gone from here
where is her soul now beating
Was it stolen by the man who lied
mangled by the one who cried
Has it withered in the famine's wealth of hunger?

The light slips through the flitting leaves
but this time it failed to blind her
for she is gone from this old place
and so the light must wander
In the hidden branches of my sweet shade tree, 
hides a sweet baby bird from his enemy
as the light quietly fades into night,  where it will surely find her

My angels must have known
That I was on the verge
of breaking last night
So they rocked me to sleep
And held me so closely
Then sprinkled light in my eyes
And peace in my heart as they
Sweetly, firmly woke me

I have got to get out of this thing

a little reflection of you

If you and I are one, than how is being true to yourself the most important thing? Unless you are true to all.

Why is it that your love cannot cure another?

Love is the cure, but a reverence for your own self is what will save you.


There is nothing more worthwhile than loving another.

There is nothing more wonderful than being honored for your love.

There is nothing more painful than realizing that you have hurt someone else.

There is no pain more exquisite than when love walks out your door.

You have loved, have you not? Then count yourself among the fortunate.

Don't cry, you'll waste precious water.

Honor the fortune and it will find you again.

Fortune doesn't waste its time looking for those who hide from it.

Like begets like.

Don't take it all so personally.

When someone turns their back on you it has nothing to do with you not being wonderful.

You always were, always are and always will be wonderful.

Even the earth has seasons, so why shouldn't love?

Love, like life, blossoms and grows.

Life, like love, eventually ends.

Don't stand there, crying.

Get on with the dying.

And one day, rise again.

Rehab

Spreading through my veins
it seeps into my art
the pulsing, quickening effusion
of your placebo steals my heart

Lay me down and knock me out
your touch is like a drug
I fall into your clutches, hiding
til the morning wakes me up

Your love is like a drug
but I'm the one addicted
Starved, I reach for your dripping needle
as my mind grows more conflicted

Drowning in this rush of blood
can this mayhem somehow sustain me?
I crave another hit from you
for your love has cut me deeply

Pain, pain go away, don't come back another day

purple crush

The first time I saw you
I saw nothing
til the time that I saw you
as nothing less than the world

The last time that I held you
I felt nothing
til this love feels strong enough
to choose burning, over losing you

This time I love you
more than ever was before
til I hold you one more time
and again my mind is blown

maybe IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
don't know
what
love is

another new dream

Prancing down a darkened trail

lights have all gone out

The sun has settled in to rest as

creeping critters greet the night

Whispers from those hidden eyes

which never see the light

follow me to another world

where they can be so bright

 *I cannot see the moon tonight

It hides its face from me

But in its place I see the stars

The ones you picked for me

Inside the dark and frigid night

I watch with wonderment

As stars propelled by magic's spell

Race quickly across the heavens

The night guard watches, waiting

As the new moon hides her face

The owl cuts loose and rises

Giving dark's stars quite the chase

The cold but silent chill I feel

Brings shivers from within

But oh the stars that light the sky

Make quite the raucous din

*I cannot feel the moon tonight

It hides its pull from me

But in this place the bright stars whisper

Their quiet secrets to me

oh please show me a new dream

My Blue Dream

On the breath of angels
who whisper secrets of your might
I rise through the dark night's fog
to this place where I dance
til the sun lights my face

You are so different here
maybe this is where you belong

Morning did not wake me
today... I remain
lingering in the solid fog
as if this dream is
my awakening

Kiss me goodbye
Maybe I will see you
another time
when I come flying by, lifted
on the breath of angels

...whisper your secrets to me

Immortal

Alone in the night
as
the fog sets in
The dark can't see
what
is haunting me
Abandon(ed) old heart still
beats

steadfast and bold
Daring to impugn the face of
pain
Hey, it's only love-
It'll
come 'round again

Angel fire

Liars are thieves who twist reality to fill their needs
for acceptance, domination, "love" or possession
never knowing what their greed has done.
But I have lied too, unaware of consequences
and I walked away empty, having robbed you too

******

Love is seeing another through g()d's perfect eye
in heaven's perfect light
there is nowhere
there is nothing
that is not love

******

I can see you now, perfectly, because You are beautiful
because I am too


Ajna:illumination, visualization, imagination, dreams, insight, intuition

In the darkest night

The direction of my gaze abruptly pivoted skyward
As I remembered to look for a shooting star

As if there was a sale on sky lights
Heaven displayed its abundance of wealth and wonder

My eyes scanned the vast canvas
But were drawn to the line of mountains

Which cut the sky as waking cuts through dreams
As if kissed by g()d I longed to see that shooting once again

Pretty Please

Awww c'mon Love
I've been waiting so damn long
been down on my knees, praying
and righting all my wrongs

Think about it, Love
sling your arrow straight toward me
with its quick-witted piercing 
let it take me down, let it make me bleed

Can you hear me, Love
whether I cry, whisper, beg or shout?
Either take this aching away
or find a way to help me out

Find me one with a kind heart
one that beats for me, out loud
send him straight toward me for I swear,
Love, this time I will do you proud

Oh Love, come call on me

My runaway shadow

The dream where you swept in and saved me
from the dreariness of happiness as
some believed happiness would be

Do you remember how we once left to save ourselves?
As if the love of another could have made or broke us
In the light I can see now that staying here in your fire
is the only way to save me from burning
the only way to believe in love is not
to require the love of another,
but to know the holiness of your own omniscient soul
your own shining salvation

   no question left

Give
give it all away

   Only that is love

I know this is true
because I saw it in your own face
when you were looking at me
Your "ordinary" goodness made me
realize how common love really is, and
not just some slumber's illusory dreams
played in time with the swollen breath of my lullaby
blowing out the candles, the night becomes me

You save me
from myself each time you hold me up so high-
where I can feel my own abounding heart

Love is like that

Can I be still and still be me?

I would rather be g~d's breath

crawling across the earth

or the place of fruitful death

resigned to new day's birth

where fences are mended

and tatters un-torn

where wounds come unwrapped

as wisdom is born

where fear is unwelcome

and love is life's toy

where the feast is not crumbs

but a platter of joy

 

Be still and know that I am...

the recurring nightmare

Lingering under the covers
listening to the morning rain
I was witness to the dim light's gentle urging,
like a mother's soft touch
within a whisper she shouts, wake up!



This one is about 6 years old. Still as poignant and painful as ever. Maybe even more so. Maybe. . . I'm the one who needs to wake the fuck up.

wake up you sleepy bear

wake up the morning’s here

the light shines through

that cracked old door

and sprays across the dusty floor

wake up Rumplestiltskin

wake up- this day is new

the coffee’s on

the eggs are done

the break-fast table waits for you

wake up, sleepy head

wake up before it's night

the sun is warm

outside we’ll run

take my hand and feel the light

little yellow dream

Lay on me your heavy
let me bathe in its newness
its ripeness and its fullness
let it lift me up
and make me something
more than I was thinking
that I would ever be

Let it make me...    y
  
                            o

                                            u

                                                      r
                                                              s
Aww c'mon. Let's go be like one force of life that is meant to shine.
I'll be yours if you'll be mine. Well that's kind of like deciding that you'll let the sun shine. We're all just here walking each other home... 

Thank you for taking the time to get to know me and to wonder what it's like to be me.
 

Turning oh!ver

Writing my wrongs in this black box of shame

Humming some hims to erase all the blame

Kneeling before you, I’s lowered in shame

As pen-nance releases my runaway game

Whisper my seek-ret through these cuts in the steal

Where you hear me, and hold me and tell me to feel

So I squirm, then erupt as I rise to my heals  

Shedding shame’s ugly skin, for flesh's a-peel

Holding me farther away from your hearth

where my lips cannot bellow your prodigal spark

Where our fire dares not flare to then fall apart

Hold me close to the flame, let me lie by your hearth

Righting your wrongs in this black box- no shame

Kneeling before me, you bowed down and I came

I dream of melting your tower of shame, as

I burn slowly, impassioned- please don't dampen this flame
Til you gush your secrets through the hole in this fence
The wall crumbles between us, as we move to confess
Shedding all of the wrongs, we move on to the best
In the light of this love, we are truly the blessed

Pen-nance: The act of writing your wrong

up on a tight rope

Can we diminish the polarities
between right and wrong
and float freely between
you and me
she and he
earth and sky?
Be well in the center
between black and white
pain and laughter
heaven and earth
dark and light...

We're not so different, after all...you and me, him and her, them and us.

We are not our fears, predispositions, excuses, thoughts, hatreds, desires, habits or memories; we are love-each one of us. Isn't it our fear of being "wrong" or hurt or different that tells us the lie that we are in any way separate from another? We all have our seasons of darkness and light and we have all burned or felt like we were flying. We all laugh, love, cry and hurt. We are all wonderful, important, relevant children of someone.

So, come naked, vulnerable, ready and alive- just come with your heart.  We'll talk and laugh for hours!

Sunrise

In a delirious dream state some time ago, I still remember the way that my head and heart swirled when I let go and became one with the incredible moment pictured below. It was actually a series of incredible moments as the scene progressed and grew more beautiful with the intensifying light. A few days later the poem came. They seemed to be made for each other. I am grateful and humbled that life, itself, chose to share this with me.

(This is where I go when I seem to be gone...)

Can you take the wheel?

Hold my heart tonight
keep it safe from all the sounds
of loneliness and fear
and of things I dare not dream
to lose

Hold me close tonight
be the soothing balm that
heals me be the easy slip that
frees me...
from me
                                       
Hold my heart tonight
reach your strong hand out toward mine
sit beside me in the dimming light
be my brightness, be my guide
(you always will be)

Please, won't you hold my heart tonight
hold me close through all the darkness
while I need the light and kindness
beating through your heart to mine
...hold my heart

Circling the crystal grid

Take me to your secret place
where dreams are made of candied lace
where the sun sets a million times
in the rippled, rushing stream
when we circle the grid of magic dreams

Sing me your war song
whether I think you're right or wrong
so that I can be with you
in the sounds of your heart beating
in that space that heaves between our fleshy meeting

Let's circle the grid to the edge of danger,
where we'll dance with the demons and cry with the angels
Can you crucify then send me home
where the stones are all torrents of love and light
It's what we are... never wrong, never right

Just turn the light on and you will see...

Indelible dream

   Dream drops falling
between rays of splintered light
where there is no room for fear-
only love and warmth and kindness
   Darkness steps aside
as there is no room for madness
midst the vibrations of the
angels' wings, their ethereal flutters prancing
   Time cannot be counted
when the rhythmic coursing beats
in to the the dance of timeless age
frenzied by the dreams we choose to heed
   Lost in time and lost in this space
holding firm in this enticing place
heart beating quickly as if in a race
to save my soul, my life, my face
    From losing once again while
I run through dream drops falling 'round me
gently tapping out eternity's song in
the key of dreams which dare not sleep

Staying grace

Prowling the hills
solitary we hunt
for sustenance
we scour the earth

Finding the kill
that pertinent fill
but rooting for pain
we’re just hungry again

Rip it to shreds
mouth dripping with blood
Come up for air, for
we have nothing to fear

Can you survive the stream
Of the blood that flows
Can you rip it to shreds
Will you break bread with me


Will you wear the warm pelt
as we worship the sun
And peacefully slumber
once the feasting is done

Can the warmth of our flesh
thaw the raw of our souls
Can the depth of our truths
quench us, hungry carnivores


As they lay in the dirt
our hearts beating aloud
The pokes and laughter rise from
the finger pointing crowd

Can you swim up the stream
Of the blood that flows?
Can you rip it to shreds?
Won't you break bread with me?

It's a new day. It always is. There is always the opportunity to forget, move on, go back, do it again, do it better, be with it, forgive yourself, forgive someone else, make things right, make them better. Die as many times as you need to. Resurrection, reincarnation, salvation and the likes are our choices in every awake and aware minute. Stop starving yourself. Feast! 

Anahata

A shot of rosewood's mist

twisting and turning within

the swirling moisture that

holds me closely, kissing my body

a million times slowly

I tingle in all of the spaces

between what makes this body

me-

in the place where
the morning calls to my spirit,

Beauty

...say my name

Owner of a loner's heart

So was this going to be just another day of Valentines
where I sat back, resenting the day because love had just walked out my door again?

Resigned to abort this pregnant moment for it was empty if not filled
by my own heart's supposed pleasures- - so most assuredly, born to fail.

Until I opened the door of joy to a place just beyond me, beyond
what it is I wished to see. It was you- I saw your love and I believed.

Now I know.
Now I know just how delicious love can be, for in my heart was your love, which I let engulf the heart of me.

Happy Valentine's Day to all of those who profess their love! I loved this day, after all, because I let the love that filled it, fill me. There were beaming little children handing me Smarties and Kisses, there were love swept lovers receiving flowers and balloons, there were songs of promise and loss that filled the air. There was love-it was everywhere. And I licked it up, letting their love become my love. I gave thanks for all of the beauty that I touched and tasted. This magical act of surrender bulldozed the loneliness right out of my heart.  Thank you.

Plus, don't forget that

Love is an energy that is neither created nor destroyed;
it simply transforms as it
ignites...
grows...
burns ferociously...
quiets...
glows as embers...
or scatters across the universe as dancing ashes. . ..   . . ... . . . . .

Crushing blow

Stop hiding under rocks. The only thing that can ever hurt you is your fear.

Lighten up!

a breeze blows and
how the willow bends,
the mighty oak rustles or
the dead leaf dances-

these are the songs
of the willow,
the mighty oak and
the dead leaf, only.

we dance our own dance
sing our own song
but know that each breeze
although one, touches many.

Maybe god is a breeze. Maybe god is LOVE. Maybe LOVE is G( )D. Fix your wind-messed hair, would you? No don't- I guess I like it a little messy. Thank you.

Today's angel card: SURPRISE! Keep an open mind. The influence of grace is often found in unexpected places.
Don't ask me to define grace-I can't even define G( )D, let alone its greatest quality.  Maybe I'll go ask the trees or the breeze what they know of grace. I bet there are a lot of giggles there. Why don't more people giggle and enjoy things instead of deciding how they 'should' be? 

Mirror, mirror on the moon

As I walked around the pool tonight, circling again and again, I saw the moon's reflection. It's the same moon, always-but it looks so different each time I look. I hadn't seen or noticed it in weeks-not since the last time it hung in the sky above me when I barely noticed it beyond the laughter and smiles, but could feel it painting a new face. I finally got brave and looked up to stare into its face. It was a far different face than I remembered.

Feeling the need to alter my perceived truth I went to the other side of the yard where I don't usually walk. No longer able to resist, I turned to look and saw it through a nested pattern of barren twigs which will be a leafy tree again in a few months.

There is nothing that can't seem like dark in one moment, and then light in another.  A beautiful ride through town can turn ugly when you see a bleeding and homeless man on the side of the road or when you find yourself suddenly driving behind the person who tossed you away.

Don't look away.

You know how each time you grieve, you find yourself hurting for ALL that you have lost? It all feels eerily, painfully familiar, creating a crescendo of pain with drums pinging and chords slaying you. But happiness has the very same effect. What if, instead of hiding in the ditches of despair, you honor the good in what happened? What if you find the love in it AGAIN? It doesn't even matter from whom the love came-the spinning ball of life is nurtured regardless of the well that watered it, or the one that it drank from.

So that little white ball that floated quietly on the pool's surface was the same one that cut me through the barren twigs. Either way it  shows me the light if I just look. And it always will. Our choice, always.

What he said...

I am tired of hearing what God is from head-tripping men. I am tired of hearing what God is from isolationists on a spiritual quest. I am tired of hearing what God is from lovers of detachment. I want to hear about a juicy God, a creative God, a relational God, a God that arises when we jump into life and stop playing it safe, watching it race by like a passing train. Its time for the dancers to tell us what God is. Its time for the artists to tell us what God is. Its time for the lovers to tell us what God is. We are not here to watch God from afar. We are here to live God from the inside out. -Jeff Brown


And I saw God

In the glistening captured sun in the early morning's dew

And I heard God

In the thunderous pleasure that spilled from my singing lips

And I felt God

In the edge of the leaf that grazed me as it rode your breath home

And I tasted God

In your offering as I ate from your hands all bloodied

And God touched me

When you looked into my eyes

Comfortably numb

Dizzied by the waves as they try to come to me
Swept off my feet wondering if they ever really knew me
I don't understand the words of these whipping winds that skew me
I'll just stand back now and watch out for you

All of these old poems, these last few weeks, re-alized as I looked inside myself, wondering when love would come to me. It's hard. It's hard to stand at the edge of the stream, thirsting, but not able to drink the cool waters. It's painful to want to baptize yourself in the healing waters, but not able to open the gate to get there. Love is the natural answer to everything, so why is it just a four letter word to so many?

the silly little dodo bird

Swimming out into the deep blue sea

Floating quietly for a moment til

Thoughts of returning to safety pale

In the light of going for it

Reaching for the splendid dream

Of love or light or bliss

I cannot shelter my heart or soul

From the fear of maybe, losing it

In each day or hour or moment

When fear and doubt are spurned

The moment of bliss when I  touch the light-

This is the point of know return

Thatched

Sometimes I run out of love.
It isn't very different from running out of sugar or flour,
as a matter of lack.

A heart that is built from love
can't really run out of love
the way the sky cannot run out of space.
But not all hearts are made of
the strength of love, like
the way that not all buildings are constructed from bricks.
Some hearts are made of straw,
always sucking up whatever treats it can find;
Full only when filling...
the way a painted sky ends at the edge of its page.


But hey, we can remodel our homes
the way we reinvent our hearts,
realizing that we are the source of the warmth;
not the walls or the roof or the floor. 
Could the bricks ever be soft enough to understand this truth?

Well, it doesn't really matter how we get there, now does it? I'll see you at the housewarming and I'll bring a plate of sweets.

Looking to the light

In a dark of early morning
my light touched your light
and the dream of morning was born
your joy was my joy
and happiness saw its own face
my tears washed your hands
and we made love a new way
your thoughts knew my mind
and this new world is born

Good morning...
Ḽ☮ṽ∊ ℵ Ḽ유❡ℌ☂ ⑵ Ṳ!

Last night I asked the angels

to show my love to me

to bring me to his splendor

awakened in my dream

Perched on the edge of a thick pink cloud

I spread my wings and calling out

you heard my song and then you came

and we danced across the night

Morning's glory gently woke me

from my soft, moist grassy nest

but she dared not take from me,

you, my greatest awakening

Walking the path the whispered

pleas wafted to me from the trees

The words, unclear, I could not hear

yet I knew they spoke of you, my dear

So I ran through the streets

of this big, scary city

searching for you

in every nook and cranny

Scanning the faces of

each one in the masses

Holding my breath til

each soul by me, passed

And I wait tired in the light

on the corner in the night

Oh angels, hear my prayer

One more time- please take me there