Reaching out beyond the dream of what you thought was real, spinning on this ball of life, head now under heel. Ready to die, to live this life so raw, alive on ledge- dancing, hurling, freeing your soul to finally stretch the edge.

Thursday, December 31, 2015

familiar recipes



Home Cookin’

Ahhh...a pinch of this and 2 teaspoons of that meshed with sifted this and zested that
Two minds, two hearts, whisked into these blended treasures
Of truth, comfort and freedom, 
beyond even the uncommon standards,
for this cannot be merely measured
or ever even imagined

#setmefreewhydontyoubabe

Careless whispers

Ask of me anything you want
take whatever it is that you think you need,
always knowing that I will surely give
for Love has made a slave of me

The memory of writing the long version of this excerpt of a poem is among the sweetest of my heart's affections. Maybe I'm crazy but it seems that the people to whom I've selflessly given love in spite of my knowing that I wouldn't be getting it back in a tangible form, are the ones I remember the most fondly.

A mere 10 years to re-alize myself. It's like ascending to the stratosphere with there is no antonym for clarity. I think I might even hear some angels singing. Or perhaps I'm experiencing a delusion of grandeur.  If the truth is something different than this, I would like to know it someday, should Truth find me worthy of its knowing. I do know this, though:The number of truths that touch us are as infinite as the souls multiplied their many realizations, knowings, or learnings. There is no end to this massive, masturbatory orgy of life.

Don't stop. But every now and then, bow to what waits for you. There is no formula for success, other than to be re-born in every moment or opportunity where love calls you in. Whether your heart is warmed or frozen, just stfu and listen sometimes.

So to re-write this excerpt in an acceptably apropos language to love and life, I offer this:

Let me take from you everything I want
Oh, let me Give you everything you think you need
For my Love surely gives
As it has been given, to me

#newversion  #wordsgonewild  #bewithme

Oh you sad, sad fool:
Love is undeniably, your anchored rule
But you smirk that sly, wise smile
for you know what cannot be denied...

And I, I bow in silence.

Not this time

Just when I thought
I had handles on this
I could soften my guard behind false confidence

Just when I felt
Humble pie, insipid
Exempt from this blind-side and firmly in its grip
Cause I am seduced by obsessions, and under the influence
I'm slipping again
I'm up to old tricks off my wagon
I have no defense I'm
Wreaking havoc
                          and consequence

I get reduced by my own willfulness as
I reach for my usual Love! replacements
Cause I am rich with sanction and lax in my steps

I'm unworthy again
I'm up to old tricks off my wagon
I have no defense I'm
Wreaking havoc

I'm wreaking havoc and consequence

If forgiveness is understanding
Then I offer mea culpa for the millionth time
From this tumbling house of cards of mine

I am beaten by my impulsiveness
By this uncanny foreshadowing of regret
Cause I'm repulsed by indifference. At least that's my excuse

I'm slipping again
I'm up to old tricks off my wagon
I have no defense I'm
Wreaking havoc and consequence

-My greatest teacher, A. Morissette
(Thank You!)

Actually,  you can teach an old dog new tricks. The dog just has to want to.  What's wrong with spots, anyway? At least they're real.




Wednesday, December 23, 2015

The sounds of silence

I cannot hear your words no more
ear's pressed against the earthen floor
Your thoughts no longer wear my face
my soul has won that measly race

my skin now pricked, releases the throng
of the toxic rights and righteous wrongs
now snorting the light and huffing on love
for of these my heart can't get enough

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

I met a friend tonight...

Don't you kiss me too quickly.

Let me linger in this longing
long enough to know
just how hungry I am
for one endless kiss from you.

Don't you dare.

Saturday, December 5, 2015

#ihopethatsnotatraincomingatme

Is this the white light of knowing
or is this the sun, now rising?

Were you the one who sleighted me
or the one who kept me going

(all tied up in your sexy dreams of sweet things and yummy whispers)

Saturday, November 7, 2015

Food for thought

More and more posts are popping up, as experience has taught me to expect so, about boycotting businesses that are open on Thanksgiving Day. But didn't I see you at the convenient store or Stater Bros last Christmas morning? Did you watch football on Thanksgiving? It's a Wonderful Life on Christmas? Those athletes are working hard as are the cameramen, refs, concessions and security personnel, producers, and a multitude more which I have not imagined. Doctors, firemen and police officers, janitors in hospitals and help in the jails: All necessities for which we conveniently pivot away from our former convictions. 

Some people don't celebrate the holidays the way you do, or they adjust their schedules to celebrate. Remember how the original feast was three days long? Was it even on a Thursday? (I don't know.) Was Jesus actually born in December? I'm pretty sure he wasn't. We have conveniently customized sacred events to be what and when we want them to be.  So what's wrong with others doing the same?  If we had remained true to the actual feast d'facade, deciding that its observation should be three whole days, we'd have to wait til Sunday to do our Black Friday shopping. How poignant would Elvis have been singing about having a Green Christmas Without You? What if we couldn't dream of a white Christmas, and had to dream of a green one, instead?

I used to sometimes really enjoy working on holidays and I'm happy for my youngest son when he has to work inconvenient Mother's Day shifts, or til very late on Christmas Eve, a he inherited my love of dashing madly through the bustles of busy-ness while polishing his art of service. He respects and honors what he is giving to people, and takes great pride in the joy that they receive even though many of them never realize the depth of his sincerity.

We have chosen and assigned what and how we celebrate. Whether that meaning is religious, financial or familial, it IS the reason for whomever holds it. If I customize anything as I see fit, and expect everyone else to fall in between the lines of my convenient rigidity, I'm robbing you of your right for your own meaningful choice. I'm not sure why we worry so much about what others choose, anyway, since we will never fathom the depth of another's need or the actuality of their heart. But that's a topic for a whole new ranting. 

When you call your loved ones and friends this holiday season, be thankful that you can. But also whisper a thanks to the person who's keeping that phone line working. Be grateful when you turn your oven on, for those who are keeping it on. (You're probably cooking, I'm guessing.) Will you drive to be with loved ones? You might need gas.  What if you crash your car going to visit granny, will you wait until tomorrow for a tow truck? I truly pray you won't need an EMT, as well. But they will be there, giving you their best when you are not equipped to even think about them. (Thank you!)

However it is that you will celebrate these holidays, please know that I hope you are fortunate enough to both give and receive love, regardless of the date, time, venue or tradition. And if you decide to attend or watch a football game or shop at Wal-Mart, I think you CAN give thanks- out loud and openly, or quietly mumbling to every cashier, attendant, utility worker or yourself for providing a time and place for everything we mean to enjoy.

"It's in the giving, that we receive."

Sunday, October 25, 2015

:(

hold my heart tonight

keep it safe from all the sounds
of loneliness and fear
and of things I cannot dream
hold me close tonight

be the soothing balm that
heals me be the easy slip that
frees me from me                                       
hold my heart tonight

reach your strong hand toward mine
sit beside me in the dimming light
be my brightness, be my guide
please, hold me through the endless night

and closer through the thickening dark
while I cherish the light and kindness
beating through your soul, as mine
hold my heart

it's so cold out here, tonight

Sunday, October 11, 2015

Questionable

If we seek anything other than truth
what are we seeking?

What are we defending in
the absence of actuality?

What do you believe in?
Why?

Saturday, October 10, 2015

The corner of Hell & Main

My life, my love
the pits and the flowers
rainbows and showers
Will dawn break open the darkest night?

Can you come over, love
from that place in your dream
where you are neither there nor here, but
asleep in daylight and slumber?

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Drownin in U

Set me free!
Can you really be with me?
Pour your soul 
into my hands?
Your heart
into my river?

Waters' colors



along the black and jagged edges of my past
seen through the ecstasy of your pain
your beautiful eyes graze toward
each shiny little patch in the middle,
like the glisten in a drop of rain or
the thinnest little seed of light,
the very first glimpse that awakens the dawn---
always falling from your eyes, yet again
to dilute these lines, stretching
colors all across my forms

what do you see in me?

Saturday, October 3, 2015

Cunning linguist

Thank you for seeing me,
thank you for being me,
We are life's divinity
when you dissolve into me,
thankfully

blow me away, again

Love from a friend:Thank you for seeing me, being me.

She whispered into my ear
as she held me so closely,
"Your love is beyond compare."
"Thank you," I said,
"for knowing this heart
so freely."


Even in a darkened dawn, your light shines so brightly.

#2brokengirlslol

Wednesday, September 30, 2015

The wayward ones

If we all have different ideas of what is "okay" then we must all be okay. Except, perhaps, for those who do as all of the others do, cuz they're just following someone else's dreams. That's kinda not okay. But that's just my dream. Carry on!

Saturday, September 19, 2015

Dear Sweet Man,

I need to be
where
"we" won't be
broken
in each other's dreams

"Life is a lot like an answering machine..you only have so much time to leave your message."

As I frantically clamber to find mine...
We never know how much "life" is left, and the more time that we spend worrying about whether we're wrong or right is time wasted as we choke off the beauty of being. So while I burn up these fleshy remains, le
t that fuel be in the honor and reverence of all that I encounter. "Life" is not this flesh, it is this beauty of being love by always doing or being, our best.
May we live with the fury of the burning, dying sun.
What's the point of living if you're not living as if you were dying? 

WAKE UP!

#callme

Saturday, September 12, 2015

What do you think?

I
am no more important than you.

Your
children are just as wonderful as mine.

Oh
your pain is lovely on you.

We
are lighting each other's ways.
How you love yourself is how you love the world.

h.dumpty

Is it
only the broken heart
that knows truly,
the depth of Love?

Oh wait, maybe I meant broken open...